09 July 2009
Don't Cry for Me, BloggyFriends
I like to write about lobsters, love, and love lost. It's a topic that interests me and comes up a lot in conversations with friends. BUT I'm also lovin my life! So don't misinterpret my blogs as a step towards catladydom or shed any tears on my behalf. x
08 July 2009
From Romanticism to Cynicism and Back Again
This past weekend, a friend of mine (who is British so obviously amazing!) was commenting on my life motto (Live.Love.Lose.Love.Live). One my best friends, Code Name Earrings, was kind enough to pass on my life motto during her time in the UK, so now it is floating around out there in my other favorite country. Anyways, he was mentioning that if it were up to him, the motto would actually be swapped to say Live.Love.Lose.LIVE.LOVE because he feels like after you lose, you learn to live before you can love again. He also pointed out that you don't have to love again in order to be living. This lead to a very interesting conversation about two of my favorite subjects--love and mottos. I thought I would share with you what my answer to him was.
Before I fell in love for the first time (and subsequently got my heart good and ripped out) I had a very idealistic view of love. This makes sense as I am an unwavering optimist and romantic(looking a Bride magazines to pass time on long flights at the age of 5). In a way I idolized love, thinking that it was somehow this pure life force that, once acquired, would be like an explosion of unicorns, rainbows, and Reese's Peanut Butter cups (or something like that...actually it sounds kind of scary if the unicorns are actually exploding instead of simply bursting forth from the rainbow). When that love did not work out (and I mean REALLY didn't work out) I thought this meant that either 1. it hadn't actually been love or 2. everything I had ever imagined about love, and the person I was in love with was actually false and nothing in life could ever be trusted again (can you tell I am also passionate and dramatic?) It took me a long time (and some very wise counsel) to see that just because love doesn't work out doesn't mean that it was not amazing or worth experiencing, sometimes you just end up loving someone who isn't your lobster, which usually involves an ending where people get hurt. This is a critical realization and a key part of growing up. It's almost like there were two versions of me: the before love and the after heartbreak. And honestly, although there is something really beautiful about the pure, naive idea of love I used to hold, I am glad I have been (painfully) enlightened. Now I realize that you may end up being in love with a bunch of people before you find someone you want to marry, and I think that's OK. I have a hard time when people over-emphasize things like not saying I love you (not that we should throw it around) because we think that somehow protects us from the actual love we are feeling (and not saying). Love is precious, but it isn't a one time only deal for most of us. And if we are determined to make it such (in dating), we are setting ourselves up to be exceedingly disappointed if it doesn't work out. Side note: there is a lot to be said for being in high school or college when experiencing this breakthrough as there is still A LOT of growing up to be done. And that is really what my life motto is about. After the losing, you experience a different kind of love: you realize that you can love apart from the heartache you have experienced. You can love your family, your friends, and the ultimate point: you can love and BE LOVED by God. And then you are living again! So although it may seem that my motto is simply about moving from heartache to heartache in search of the perfect blend of Harry Potter, Ryan Gosling, and Boaz (shout out to all the Christian seminars on love involving Ruth and Boaz written by people who seem to have found a lot of romance in the book that I simply have never found, sorry!) but what I'm really saying is that after you get your heart broken by a man/woman or any hard situation in life, you come to a place where you re-learn some important truths about love. For me the most important was that no one satisfies like God, no one on earth will ever live up to all my expectations, and it wasn't until I dealt with that that I felt ready to love and be loved in return (if you want you can sing that line and pretend you are Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge...I did!). And once you realize that earthly love is never perfect, you no longer have to live in fear that you will somehow always mess it up, or never be enough. And then my friends, you are really living!
As always I welcome your thoughts, arguments, and life mottos.
Before I fell in love for the first time (and subsequently got my heart good and ripped out) I had a very idealistic view of love. This makes sense as I am an unwavering optimist and romantic(looking a Bride magazines to pass time on long flights at the age of 5). In a way I idolized love, thinking that it was somehow this pure life force that, once acquired, would be like an explosion of unicorns, rainbows, and Reese's Peanut Butter cups (or something like that...actually it sounds kind of scary if the unicorns are actually exploding instead of simply bursting forth from the rainbow). When that love did not work out (and I mean REALLY didn't work out) I thought this meant that either 1. it hadn't actually been love or 2. everything I had ever imagined about love, and the person I was in love with was actually false and nothing in life could ever be trusted again (can you tell I am also passionate and dramatic?) It took me a long time (and some very wise counsel) to see that just because love doesn't work out doesn't mean that it was not amazing or worth experiencing, sometimes you just end up loving someone who isn't your lobster, which usually involves an ending where people get hurt. This is a critical realization and a key part of growing up. It's almost like there were two versions of me: the before love and the after heartbreak. And honestly, although there is something really beautiful about the pure, naive idea of love I used to hold, I am glad I have been (painfully) enlightened. Now I realize that you may end up being in love with a bunch of people before you find someone you want to marry, and I think that's OK. I have a hard time when people over-emphasize things like not saying I love you (not that we should throw it around) because we think that somehow protects us from the actual love we are feeling (and not saying). Love is precious, but it isn't a one time only deal for most of us. And if we are determined to make it such (in dating), we are setting ourselves up to be exceedingly disappointed if it doesn't work out. Side note: there is a lot to be said for being in high school or college when experiencing this breakthrough as there is still A LOT of growing up to be done. And that is really what my life motto is about. After the losing, you experience a different kind of love: you realize that you can love apart from the heartache you have experienced. You can love your family, your friends, and the ultimate point: you can love and BE LOVED by God. And then you are living again! So although it may seem that my motto is simply about moving from heartache to heartache in search of the perfect blend of Harry Potter, Ryan Gosling, and Boaz (shout out to all the Christian seminars on love involving Ruth and Boaz written by people who seem to have found a lot of romance in the book that I simply have never found, sorry!) but what I'm really saying is that after you get your heart broken by a man/woman or any hard situation in life, you come to a place where you re-learn some important truths about love. For me the most important was that no one satisfies like God, no one on earth will ever live up to all my expectations, and it wasn't until I dealt with that that I felt ready to love and be loved in return (if you want you can sing that line and pretend you are Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge...I did!). And once you realize that earthly love is never perfect, you no longer have to live in fear that you will somehow always mess it up, or never be enough. And then my friends, you are really living!
As always I welcome your thoughts, arguments, and life mottos.
30 June 2009
Lobster Hunting
I am on the lookout for my lobster, as explained by Phoebe:
My friend Laura recently hoped that she had finally found me my lobster when she happened upon this delight via the world wide web.
While I am doubtful that he and I will be holding claws in a tank any time soon, I appreciated the sentiment.
My friend Laura recently hoped that she had finally found me my lobster when she happened upon this delight via the world wide web.
While I am doubtful that he and I will be holding claws in a tank any time soon, I appreciated the sentiment.
Kids Today...
One of these toys is real, one isn't...I found one to be hilarious and the other somewhat disturbing:
Plain Pamela and God Game
One is a mediocre to unfortunate looking Barbie Doll that boosts the confidence of "regular girls" everywhere.
The other is a computer game where you make up gods with various powers and then control people's lives and have them worship you. I found out about this game when a kid I know told me that over the weekend he created a god on this game with demonic powers and then forced all the people in his kingdom to bow down and worship him and that it was "awesome". I wonder if by awesome he meant creepy?
Oh how I miss the days when I used to hide my guinea pigs somewhere in my room, leave them for 2 minutes and then "rescue" them by wrapping a ton of toilet paper around them to heal their imaginary wounds...
Plain Pamela and God Game
One is a mediocre to unfortunate looking Barbie Doll that boosts the confidence of "regular girls" everywhere.
The other is a computer game where you make up gods with various powers and then control people's lives and have them worship you. I found out about this game when a kid I know told me that over the weekend he created a god on this game with demonic powers and then forced all the people in his kingdom to bow down and worship him and that it was "awesome". I wonder if by awesome he meant creepy?
Oh how I miss the days when I used to hide my guinea pigs somewhere in my room, leave them for 2 minutes and then "rescue" them by wrapping a ton of toilet paper around them to heal their imaginary wounds...
18 June 2009
Compeletion Date: Unknown
Today I walked past a house under construction and was enveloped in a huge cloud of grey dust. As I peered through the haze, I could see the mess behind the poorly erected fencing--rocks, dirt, trash, nails, wood all thrown around. It was ugly. It was messy. I looked up and down the street at all the other beautiful houses and perfectly manicured lawns and sighed. Oh how I can relate to you, house in the middle of being built. Much like cleaning out the closet, things are going to get much worse before they get better. Why is it that to make improvements, you always seem to have to make a mess of everything?
Some months you end up in the hospital and spending every Friday in the doctor's office. Some months you give half your savings account to said hospital for 12 hours of poking and prodding. Some months your dog dies, and people disappoint, and you realize for the millionth time that life (even when you are incredibly blessed in EVERY aspect) is hard hard hard.
But then a nice crinkly old man in the elevator tells you to have a great day. You sigh to yourself thinking "oh nice old crinkle man, if you only knew". But then you realize, I'm sure he knows way better than I do the ups and downs that every day brings, having lived through many more of them than you have. And if he's still cheerful and wishing strangers in elevators well, than you can keep your chin up.
Construction always takes longer than estimated, and it always makes a mess. So does cleaning out your closet, and usually somewhere halfway through you want to walk away and forget about it. But it's the mess, the contrast to the order and beauty we sometimes get a glimpse of, that keeps us working at cleaning it up, finishing the project, hopeful that the end is somewhere just around the corner...
Psalm 139:1-6 "Oh Lord you have searched me, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely Oh Lord. YOU HEM ME IN--BEHIND AND BEFORE, you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain."
Some months you end up in the hospital and spending every Friday in the doctor's office. Some months you give half your savings account to said hospital for 12 hours of poking and prodding. Some months your dog dies, and people disappoint, and you realize for the millionth time that life (even when you are incredibly blessed in EVERY aspect) is hard hard hard.
But then a nice crinkly old man in the elevator tells you to have a great day. You sigh to yourself thinking "oh nice old crinkle man, if you only knew". But then you realize, I'm sure he knows way better than I do the ups and downs that every day brings, having lived through many more of them than you have. And if he's still cheerful and wishing strangers in elevators well, than you can keep your chin up.
Construction always takes longer than estimated, and it always makes a mess. So does cleaning out your closet, and usually somewhere halfway through you want to walk away and forget about it. But it's the mess, the contrast to the order and beauty we sometimes get a glimpse of, that keeps us working at cleaning it up, finishing the project, hopeful that the end is somewhere just around the corner...
Psalm 139:1-6 "Oh Lord you have searched me, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely Oh Lord. YOU HEM ME IN--BEHIND AND BEFORE, you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain."
18 May 2009
Hear me Roar
I just read an article on CNN.com about new airport security technology that people are trying to ban due to the fact that they can "see you naked". I have several things to say in response to this.
1. Who cares if some random security guard locked in a room far away from the actual scanning site sees a faceless, blurry image of you naked?
2. This image is not being recorded, and chances are (unless you think VERY highly of yourself) unnamed guard is not going to remember you as he/she sees probably 10,000 naked blurry robot pictures in one day.
3. On the argument that security officials in LA are going to make millions by selling pictures of naked celebrities (see point one: they can's see your face) (see point two: they can't record the image) (SO yeah, what you're talking about is only a potential for the future, where it is also a potential that we will no longer need airports at all due to all the hover crafts and flying cars) also I'm pretty sure that most of said celebrities already have naked pictures of themselves circulating the Internet so nothing new there.
4. Aren't there enough important things going on in this world? Do we REALLY need to focus on this? I don't know if these scanners will really aid in stopping terrorists, or if they are worth spending the money on (hmmm, that would be a more worthwhile argument) but if they do I guess I don't really care if Joe Shmo gets at peek at the ladies.
Since I am ranting I have two other things to add:
1. (or is it 5?) I am SO sick of every fictional TV wedding being officiated by a woman. WE GET IT HOLLYWOOD, you are SO forward thinking and liberal. Oh wait, even my Southern Baptist church in GA had female pastors.
2. If Miley Cyrus is fat (or even 'normal'), I think I will just stay inside all summer.
1. Who cares if some random security guard locked in a room far away from the actual scanning site sees a faceless, blurry image of you naked?
2. This image is not being recorded, and chances are (unless you think VERY highly of yourself) unnamed guard is not going to remember you as he/she sees probably 10,000 naked blurry robot pictures in one day.
3. On the argument that security officials in LA are going to make millions by selling pictures of naked celebrities (see point one: they can's see your face) (see point two: they can't record the image) (SO yeah, what you're talking about is only a potential for the future, where it is also a potential that we will no longer need airports at all due to all the hover crafts and flying cars) also I'm pretty sure that most of said celebrities already have naked pictures of themselves circulating the Internet so nothing new there.
4. Aren't there enough important things going on in this world? Do we REALLY need to focus on this? I don't know if these scanners will really aid in stopping terrorists, or if they are worth spending the money on (hmmm, that would be a more worthwhile argument) but if they do I guess I don't really care if Joe Shmo gets at peek at the ladies.
Since I am ranting I have two other things to add:
1. (or is it 5?) I am SO sick of every fictional TV wedding being officiated by a woman. WE GET IT HOLLYWOOD, you are SO forward thinking and liberal. Oh wait, even my Southern Baptist church in GA had female pastors.
2. If Miley Cyrus is fat (or even 'normal'), I think I will just stay inside all summer.
13 May 2009
Google This
Today is day 2 of my exercise free life.
SO with all my new found time (and trying not to move my leg as it is KILLING me) I have decided to try to broaden my online horizons. This is what I found so far.
After discovering a paragraph devoted to a fire breathing dragon in Job 41 I began to wonder, is there anyone out there who thinks that dragons/fire-breathing dinosaurs were real? You can imagine I was NOT disappointed by the barrage of google results, especially the fanatical Christian websites and conspiracy web pages. I did find one site that also traced the origins of the unicorn to their closely related (and actually real) cousins, the narwhals. You can imagine my delight. I decided not to reference the site as its creator had some less than ideal views on Jewish people and aliens. I digress
Eventually my fire breathing dinosaur googling led me to a website devoted to the robot below. I. AM. TERRIFIED.
A bit shaken up by what will soon become my latest nightmare about robots, I took a new approach to my surfing, and went straight to the news...you can see I immediately honed in on the important stuff. I was already planning on visiting NYC this year, so it wouldn't be crazy to just bump up my trip a little, right? And I am definitely interested in British affairs, so I expect I was already on the invite list for the benefit he will be attending...I always did like the bad boys...
SO with all my new found time (and trying not to move my leg as it is KILLING me) I have decided to try to broaden my online horizons. This is what I found so far.
After discovering a paragraph devoted to a fire breathing dragon in Job 41 I began to wonder, is there anyone out there who thinks that dragons/fire-breathing dinosaurs were real? You can imagine I was NOT disappointed by the barrage of google results, especially the fanatical Christian websites and conspiracy web pages. I did find one site that also traced the origins of the unicorn to their closely related (and actually real) cousins, the narwhals. You can imagine my delight. I decided not to reference the site as its creator had some less than ideal views on Jewish people and aliens. I digress
Eventually my fire breathing dinosaur googling led me to a website devoted to the robot below. I. AM. TERRIFIED.
A bit shaken up by what will soon become my latest nightmare about robots, I took a new approach to my surfing, and went straight to the news...you can see I immediately honed in on the important stuff. I was already planning on visiting NYC this year, so it wouldn't be crazy to just bump up my trip a little, right? And I am definitely interested in British affairs, so I expect I was already on the invite list for the benefit he will be attending...I always did like the bad boys...
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