I am on the lookout for my lobster, as explained by Phoebe:
My friend Laura recently hoped that she had finally found me my lobster when she happened upon this delight via the world wide web.
While I am doubtful that he and I will be holding claws in a tank any time soon, I appreciated the sentiment.
30 June 2009
Kids Today...
One of these toys is real, one isn't...I found one to be hilarious and the other somewhat disturbing:
Plain Pamela and God Game
One is a mediocre to unfortunate looking Barbie Doll that boosts the confidence of "regular girls" everywhere.
The other is a computer game where you make up gods with various powers and then control people's lives and have them worship you. I found out about this game when a kid I know told me that over the weekend he created a god on this game with demonic powers and then forced all the people in his kingdom to bow down and worship him and that it was "awesome". I wonder if by awesome he meant creepy?
Oh how I miss the days when I used to hide my guinea pigs somewhere in my room, leave them for 2 minutes and then "rescue" them by wrapping a ton of toilet paper around them to heal their imaginary wounds...
Plain Pamela and God Game
One is a mediocre to unfortunate looking Barbie Doll that boosts the confidence of "regular girls" everywhere.
The other is a computer game where you make up gods with various powers and then control people's lives and have them worship you. I found out about this game when a kid I know told me that over the weekend he created a god on this game with demonic powers and then forced all the people in his kingdom to bow down and worship him and that it was "awesome". I wonder if by awesome he meant creepy?
Oh how I miss the days when I used to hide my guinea pigs somewhere in my room, leave them for 2 minutes and then "rescue" them by wrapping a ton of toilet paper around them to heal their imaginary wounds...
18 June 2009
Compeletion Date: Unknown
Today I walked past a house under construction and was enveloped in a huge cloud of grey dust. As I peered through the haze, I could see the mess behind the poorly erected fencing--rocks, dirt, trash, nails, wood all thrown around. It was ugly. It was messy. I looked up and down the street at all the other beautiful houses and perfectly manicured lawns and sighed. Oh how I can relate to you, house in the middle of being built. Much like cleaning out the closet, things are going to get much worse before they get better. Why is it that to make improvements, you always seem to have to make a mess of everything?
Some months you end up in the hospital and spending every Friday in the doctor's office. Some months you give half your savings account to said hospital for 12 hours of poking and prodding. Some months your dog dies, and people disappoint, and you realize for the millionth time that life (even when you are incredibly blessed in EVERY aspect) is hard hard hard.
But then a nice crinkly old man in the elevator tells you to have a great day. You sigh to yourself thinking "oh nice old crinkle man, if you only knew". But then you realize, I'm sure he knows way better than I do the ups and downs that every day brings, having lived through many more of them than you have. And if he's still cheerful and wishing strangers in elevators well, than you can keep your chin up.
Construction always takes longer than estimated, and it always makes a mess. So does cleaning out your closet, and usually somewhere halfway through you want to walk away and forget about it. But it's the mess, the contrast to the order and beauty we sometimes get a glimpse of, that keeps us working at cleaning it up, finishing the project, hopeful that the end is somewhere just around the corner...
Psalm 139:1-6 "Oh Lord you have searched me, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely Oh Lord. YOU HEM ME IN--BEHIND AND BEFORE, you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain."
Some months you end up in the hospital and spending every Friday in the doctor's office. Some months you give half your savings account to said hospital for 12 hours of poking and prodding. Some months your dog dies, and people disappoint, and you realize for the millionth time that life (even when you are incredibly blessed in EVERY aspect) is hard hard hard.
But then a nice crinkly old man in the elevator tells you to have a great day. You sigh to yourself thinking "oh nice old crinkle man, if you only knew". But then you realize, I'm sure he knows way better than I do the ups and downs that every day brings, having lived through many more of them than you have. And if he's still cheerful and wishing strangers in elevators well, than you can keep your chin up.
Construction always takes longer than estimated, and it always makes a mess. So does cleaning out your closet, and usually somewhere halfway through you want to walk away and forget about it. But it's the mess, the contrast to the order and beauty we sometimes get a glimpse of, that keeps us working at cleaning it up, finishing the project, hopeful that the end is somewhere just around the corner...
Psalm 139:1-6 "Oh Lord you have searched me, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely Oh Lord. YOU HEM ME IN--BEHIND AND BEFORE, you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain."
18 May 2009
Hear me Roar
I just read an article on CNN.com about new airport security technology that people are trying to ban due to the fact that they can "see you naked". I have several things to say in response to this.
1. Who cares if some random security guard locked in a room far away from the actual scanning site sees a faceless, blurry image of you naked?
2. This image is not being recorded, and chances are (unless you think VERY highly of yourself) unnamed guard is not going to remember you as he/she sees probably 10,000 naked blurry robot pictures in one day.
3. On the argument that security officials in LA are going to make millions by selling pictures of naked celebrities (see point one: they can's see your face) (see point two: they can't record the image) (SO yeah, what you're talking about is only a potential for the future, where it is also a potential that we will no longer need airports at all due to all the hover crafts and flying cars) also I'm pretty sure that most of said celebrities already have naked pictures of themselves circulating the Internet so nothing new there.
4. Aren't there enough important things going on in this world? Do we REALLY need to focus on this? I don't know if these scanners will really aid in stopping terrorists, or if they are worth spending the money on (hmmm, that would be a more worthwhile argument) but if they do I guess I don't really care if Joe Shmo gets at peek at the ladies.
Since I am ranting I have two other things to add:
1. (or is it 5?) I am SO sick of every fictional TV wedding being officiated by a woman. WE GET IT HOLLYWOOD, you are SO forward thinking and liberal. Oh wait, even my Southern Baptist church in GA had female pastors.
2. If Miley Cyrus is fat (or even 'normal'), I think I will just stay inside all summer.
1. Who cares if some random security guard locked in a room far away from the actual scanning site sees a faceless, blurry image of you naked?
2. This image is not being recorded, and chances are (unless you think VERY highly of yourself) unnamed guard is not going to remember you as he/she sees probably 10,000 naked blurry robot pictures in one day.
3. On the argument that security officials in LA are going to make millions by selling pictures of naked celebrities (see point one: they can's see your face) (see point two: they can't record the image) (SO yeah, what you're talking about is only a potential for the future, where it is also a potential that we will no longer need airports at all due to all the hover crafts and flying cars) also I'm pretty sure that most of said celebrities already have naked pictures of themselves circulating the Internet so nothing new there.
4. Aren't there enough important things going on in this world? Do we REALLY need to focus on this? I don't know if these scanners will really aid in stopping terrorists, or if they are worth spending the money on (hmmm, that would be a more worthwhile argument) but if they do I guess I don't really care if Joe Shmo gets at peek at the ladies.
Since I am ranting I have two other things to add:
1. (or is it 5?) I am SO sick of every fictional TV wedding being officiated by a woman. WE GET IT HOLLYWOOD, you are SO forward thinking and liberal. Oh wait, even my Southern Baptist church in GA had female pastors.
2. If Miley Cyrus is fat (or even 'normal'), I think I will just stay inside all summer.
13 May 2009
Google This
Today is day 2 of my exercise free life.
SO with all my new found time (and trying not to move my leg as it is KILLING me) I have decided to try to broaden my online horizons. This is what I found so far.
After discovering a paragraph devoted to a fire breathing dragon in Job 41 I began to wonder, is there anyone out there who thinks that dragons/fire-breathing dinosaurs were real? You can imagine I was NOT disappointed by the barrage of google results, especially the fanatical Christian websites and conspiracy web pages. I did find one site that also traced the origins of the unicorn to their closely related (and actually real) cousins, the narwhals. You can imagine my delight. I decided not to reference the site as its creator had some less than ideal views on Jewish people and aliens. I digress
Eventually my fire breathing dinosaur googling led me to a website devoted to the robot below. I. AM. TERRIFIED.
A bit shaken up by what will soon become my latest nightmare about robots, I took a new approach to my surfing, and went straight to the news...you can see I immediately honed in on the important stuff. I was already planning on visiting NYC this year, so it wouldn't be crazy to just bump up my trip a little, right? And I am definitely interested in British affairs, so I expect I was already on the invite list for the benefit he will be attending...I always did like the bad boys...
SO with all my new found time (and trying not to move my leg as it is KILLING me) I have decided to try to broaden my online horizons. This is what I found so far.
After discovering a paragraph devoted to a fire breathing dragon in Job 41 I began to wonder, is there anyone out there who thinks that dragons/fire-breathing dinosaurs were real? You can imagine I was NOT disappointed by the barrage of google results, especially the fanatical Christian websites and conspiracy web pages. I did find one site that also traced the origins of the unicorn to their closely related (and actually real) cousins, the narwhals. You can imagine my delight. I decided not to reference the site as its creator had some less than ideal views on Jewish people and aliens. I digress
Eventually my fire breathing dinosaur googling led me to a website devoted to the robot below. I. AM. TERRIFIED.
A bit shaken up by what will soon become my latest nightmare about robots, I took a new approach to my surfing, and went straight to the news...you can see I immediately honed in on the important stuff. I was already planning on visiting NYC this year, so it wouldn't be crazy to just bump up my trip a little, right? And I am definitely interested in British affairs, so I expect I was already on the invite list for the benefit he will be attending...I always did like the bad boys...
12 May 2009
Mutants Not Welcome Here
Today I went to the doctor and apparently I have torn a muscle in my leg doing this --well I was inside and I didn't look that cool, but nonetheless it really hurts! Sadly his remedy is not working out for A MONTH which means I'll probably end up looking like this. To make matters worse, or in other words to justify my self pity even more, he told me that I shouldn't go rock climbing at all due to my two mutant genetic blood conditions. (mutant condition X) (mutant condition Y) Up until now, I wasn't too worried about being a mutant for several obvious reasons:
1. I like X-Men and am currently awaiting confirmation that I have a superpower of some sort (I am hoping for unicorn vision or something involving elf ears)
2. It is cool to get up and roam the airplane with all the elderly people who are also avoiding mile high blood clots. We usually discuss our mutual love of knitting, V8, and living with more than 5 cats
3. My sister has hogged the medical drama in our family for too long--step aside Becky, for I too am a mutant (oh and by the way thanks for figuring out we had this and for dealing with a leg 10 sizes too big whilst 9 months pregnant...guess I owe you one)
4. My hematologist (that's right, I am 26 and have a hematologist, AND a podiatrist...not sexy?) said it really wouldn't affect my life and that since I am healthy and active I didn't need to change my lifestyle (except for popping a baby aspirin every once and a while). While apparently, she forgot to mention rock climbing. Not that I'm that much of a climber, but it was one of only a few lines I know to throw out at parties to increase my "serious and mysterious" factor since we all know the boys like rock climbing girls (Seriously guys, is it the spandex? Or the danger (sorry, not too dangerous when you're attached to a HARNESS and there is a BOUNCY FLOOR waiting to catch you below). Either way, guess I'll just have to save my mystery for these guys. Mutants Unite!
1. I like X-Men and am currently awaiting confirmation that I have a superpower of some sort (I am hoping for unicorn vision or something involving elf ears)
2. It is cool to get up and roam the airplane with all the elderly people who are also avoiding mile high blood clots. We usually discuss our mutual love of knitting, V8, and living with more than 5 cats
3. My sister has hogged the medical drama in our family for too long--step aside Becky, for I too am a mutant (oh and by the way thanks for figuring out we had this and for dealing with a leg 10 sizes too big whilst 9 months pregnant...guess I owe you one)
4. My hematologist (that's right, I am 26 and have a hematologist, AND a podiatrist...not sexy?) said it really wouldn't affect my life and that since I am healthy and active I didn't need to change my lifestyle (except for popping a baby aspirin every once and a while). While apparently, she forgot to mention rock climbing. Not that I'm that much of a climber, but it was one of only a few lines I know to throw out at parties to increase my "serious and mysterious" factor since we all know the boys like rock climbing girls (Seriously guys, is it the spandex? Or the danger (sorry, not too dangerous when you're attached to a HARNESS and there is a BOUNCY FLOOR waiting to catch you below). Either way, guess I'll just have to save my mystery for these guys. Mutants Unite!
06 May 2009
Zachopotamus
Dear Zachary,
I can't wait to meet you! Today is your birthday, and I am so excited I can barely sit still! I have to stay out in LA until tomorrow night, but I will come to meet you as soon as I can. I know you will have lots of sleeping to do before I get there. I am praying for you to come into the world safely. I know God has special plans for your life. You are such a special little man, who so many people already love before we have even met you. Since the moment I found out you were alive, I have waited for this day. Welcome my little Zachopotamus--I can't wait to kiss your fuzzy little head and sing you silly songs. I love you.
LaLa
I can't wait to meet you! Today is your birthday, and I am so excited I can barely sit still! I have to stay out in LA until tomorrow night, but I will come to meet you as soon as I can. I know you will have lots of sleeping to do before I get there. I am praying for you to come into the world safely. I know God has special plans for your life. You are such a special little man, who so many people already love before we have even met you. Since the moment I found out you were alive, I have waited for this day. Welcome my little Zachopotamus--I can't wait to kiss your fuzzy little head and sing you silly songs. I love you.
LaLa
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